Men Suffering In Silence…

Photo Credit: The Odyssey Project

By Our Reporter

A man who had his private parts deformed by wife in Mzuzu recovers and lives to share his story on how  men, for a long time have been suffering violence in silence at the hands of their beloved ones.

A 45 year old man who had his private parts incapacitated by his violent wife has recovered after spending three months at Mzuzu central hospital.

The victim, Joel Sikwese, who hails from Chitipa district but is based in Chiputula township in Mzuzu city confided in Akometsi that his fate exposes how men are equally victims of gender based violence in the country.

“I did not report her to victims support unit for two reasons,” said Sikwese. “The first reason was because I was in coma after the violence and the main reason I’d even now fail to report her is the attitude of the police officers when handling such issues.”

According to Sikwese, officers at the victims support doesn’t take violence suffered by men from their wives serious and they often laugh at men who report gender based violence.

“They describe men who are beaten by women as weaklings. To them, men are more powerful than women and they do not expect men to suffer gender based violence from women,” padded Sikwese.

In recounting on what had transpired for his wife to injure him in such a revered “location” of the body, Sikwese claimed that reasons originated from infidelity suspicions.

Suffering in silence is breaking men.

“My wife thought I had an affair with some women and that ignited the fight that night. It was a fierce fight and we had fought for some minutes when I was overpowered and he found the chance to hit my private parts with a still bar,” he recalled.

“I realised that I was at Mzuzu central hospital and after I had regained my conscious, my daughter told me I was brought there by some neighbours because my wife had, by then, left for her home village in Mzimba,” he added.

In a follow up mission to find the whereabouts of the woman, akometsi established that she is currently in South Africa and reports indicates that she is remarried to a Zimbabwean.

Separate findings at northern region police headquarters indicate zero report on gender based violence by men.

All cases bent on gender based violence are reported by women, a situation which, according to officials the victims support unit, is retrogressive.

Officer in charge at the unit, Daniel Soko, urged men to be reporting their wives to police each time they are subjected to violence.

“This office is not for women only. Even men can come and report how they’re victimised,” said Soko.

“Speculations that we laugh at victimised men,” he added. “Are unfounded and must be disregarded in entirety.”

There’s a high need of men advocates in as far as gender based violence is concerned. The status quo of looking at men as strong figures that do not suffer from partner based violence must be given a second look as it has led to many men suffer in silence for the fear of not being believed or the cultural norms that portrays men as strong and should any man reports that they are suffering violence at the hands of their partners the society looks at them as weaker vessels. It should not be that way.

All kinds of violence remain a crime and every perpetrator must face the law accordingly and the society must create safe species that can provide a place where men victims of such violence can be heard and given dully attention their cases deserves. There are many Joel Sikwese’s than the public will ever know.

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